Blood… Sweat.. Tears…

Before you read this… know two things. 1- It is a very big read. You can’t skim it and get the “jest” of it. 2- I love the show so very much. I, along with some opinions you will read in this piece don’t come from a hatred or anger, they come from how much we love the show and how much we love Ellis, Josh and Tully. (We think Christian is OK too). I can honestly say a lot of the fans have put blood, sweat and tears into this radio show. That is why we are so passionate about it. That is unlike any other radio show on Earth. You can’t force it. If you read this and agree, fine. If you disagree, that is cool too. I can only speak from my heart. Ellis if you read this, please take nothing as an insult. I could never love the show as much as you… but dammit I try.

Here goes/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Last week, Chris from http://www.ellism8.tk wrote about how he has been feeling about the show. Here is his piece. If you have not read it, please do so before moving on to my follow-up below. Chris is a good writer and cuts through the bullshit. [REMEMBER, THE FIRST PART IS CHRIS, THE FOLLOW UP IS ME.]

Why Are We Here?
By Chris:
I am having mixed emotions about The Jason Ellis Show right now. As I sit back and take time to think about what attracted me to the Jason Ellis Show, I am left feeling a little betrayed for being blocked on Twitter but also a little relieved because this radio show has taken up so much of my time and energy. I have mentioned this before, on the now defunct podcast but we all came to this show for different reason. Some of us wanted to be entertained in the afternoon while driving home from work; others found Ellis to be motivating. Some people latched on so tight that their body is adorned with Red Dragon and Ellismate tattoos, other simply bought the products that he endorsed (this was me). Some people relate to Ellis because they have had similar experiences or been through rough patches and knowing there is a popular radio show host experiencing the same issues, makes them feel like they are not alone (one thing I love about this show). Whatever your reason for being a fan, we are attracted to this show and are loyal listeners, especially if you are reading this.

I want to take a moment and describe how and why I came to be so involved in the show (feel free to post your story in the comments section). My wife and I had just moved to Raleigh after I was discharged from the Army (honorably) and I wanted Satellite radio for our car. I had it installed in her car but I drove it on long trips to Charlotte and Greensboro for work. Like most of us, I randomly found Faction and heard Tony Hawk’s show with this guy named Jason Ellis on it. At first, I was not into talk radio, I would listen to the local morning show but that was it. I was not a Howard guy or BTLS guy or anything like that. Finally on one of my three hour drives to Charlotte, I listened to his show and I liked it. It was Raw, vulgar and real. Eventually my PG local morning show paled in comparison. I had to find a way to listen to it so I started recording it live and listening to it the next day at work. At first the recordings were for me but then I started posting to Demonoid because I saw that other shows like O & A and Stern had this. I wanted to be the go to Ellis guy (and now, I guess I am). Occasionally, I would miss a show and that is how I found Bill’s website (DrkLrdBill) and we started collaborating on posting recordings of the show. That was in 2007, a long time ago. I would not miss a show; I would listen to all four hours. I was hooked, I have invested too much time and effort to pull out now and people started to depend on me. They would thank me for posting the show and how good it is to be able to listen to it on their terms. People would even donate their hard earn money as a token of their appreciation, which I am forever thankful.

I would listen to the show so closely that when Ellis made a vague reference to a audio clip he wanted, I would find it and send it to Tully and then I would hear it on the air and it was awesome, it gave me a warm fuzzy to hear it and a few time to be thanked on air for providing it. The Romper Stomper song in the beginning, I sent that in, “We can do this easy…”, that was me, the Predator beds, yep, me again. I even sent in clips from the show, Ellis saying gay or stupid stuff. I would bookmark the audio, go back, chop it out and send it in. At one point Tully sent me a box of free shit. He would email me and ask for me to find an audio clip and I would. I was there when Tully left and when he returned. I have been so invested in this show that I felt like I was a part of the show, that the show was designed just for me. I am sure I am not alone in this thinking and I am not so disillusioned to think the show is just for me but that is the level of commitment I had to the show. I say ‘had’ because that commitment has waned. I have lost that passion for it. I have moved on. Not to other shows but to other things in life. I have two young children, a wife, a mortgage, school I am trying to finish, books I want to read and podcast I want to listen to, The Jason Ellis Show is just not as important as it once was.

It feels strange saying that, how a radio show has become so ingrained in my life, that it feels like I am breaking up with it. And in a way, I am. I’m stepping away, I am taking a break. This doesn’t mean I won’t listen when I can but I am not dedicated to it like I once was. This is why I took being blocked on twitter so hard. If you look at the date I joined, it was around the same time as Ellis. I remember driving home from school and he was talking about joining and had a few hundred followers and I was one of those. I was one of the first. I have been there since the early days, I was a true fan and to be blocked because I questioned his decision on dropping a therapist for a life coach (I will be posting later about Mr. Steele)? I felt betrayed, I felt abandoned. Five years of dedication, gone because Ellis made a bad decision and I called him out on it. I talked trash about organic food (all true stuff but he thinks it is trash) and I get blocked. Am I bitter? Yes I am but am I over it? I think so. I have realized that it is just a radio show and it is entertainment and that has made it easier to walk away.

I am dedicated to the individuals that visit my forum and download the show from me. For those that have donated, again, thank you and I will still keep doing this, even if I don’t listen as much. You guys have made it worth it with your gratitude and kind words through the years. I will still post here when I listen or hear something I don’t like. I think it makes for better reading then blowing smoke up people’s asses about how great Ellis is and to actually examine the negative as well as the positive. Hopefully I can provide a balance that is sourly needed.

Why I Was Here
By Wade:
It’s weird to read something so personal and yet still scream in your head “Exactly!” about fifteen times per paragraph. In fact I was writing something to this effect before I stumbled onto Chris’ take on things. So many similarities, yet a few differences made this article resonate with me. I just deleted what I was working on and wanted to just reply to what Chris said. If I had kept the original copy, Chris’ stout legal team would be after me for plagiarism.

So, let’s start with the original question… “Why are we here?” it was summed up in the above piece farely well. I guess I fall into the latter category. Rough times, almost died a bunch, lifes too short, he can relate and hearing someone who had made it so far and had gone through so much gave me hope. Corny? Sure, but unless you fall into that category, you will never understand.

I mean honestly, I was…

alone.

He taught me how to come out of my shell, he taught me how to not give a fuck what anyone said about me. I was Rawdog without the money. Those 20 minute monologs at the beginning of the show literally changed the person I was. I remember putting one on my phone and playing it EVERYDAY for a month before my classes at college. It gave me fuel to put effort into life.

Fun fact: Before listening to Ellis my GPA was a 2.7 in the first two years. After I started listening it was a 3.8 in my last two years. Yes, I do directly contribute that to him. So much so I wanted to mail him my diploma but I was talked out of it by my then girl acquaintance thing.

I sent Tully an email telling him that I was no skateboarder, no moto rider, just some disabled dude with a love for the show. Ellis emailed me that night to tell me how much he appreciated me as a fan. He asked me my clothing sizes. The next day he told everyone my story and how he made friends with a dude in a wheelchair (not in a wheelchair) to Mark Zupan.

We communicated through e-mail on and off. I was sure not to ever go overboard. Once a month, maybe twice. I never called the show, but was referred to here and there. I made friends with the Globe people, got backstage passes TWICE at Good Charlotte shows, traveled to LA JUST to meet the show.

Ellis was more than a hero to me, he was my friend.

I started the site in hopes to keep the casual fans up to date on Ellis-current-events. During Ellismania 6 and 7 we crashed servers on a FiOS network because of peak traffic. The site had garnered a lot of attention. We could get any Ellis related guest for an interview almost without hesitation. [Except Mayhem… he has a publicist and shit.]

There was a podcast and drama with that. It didn’t matter because I felt the show had my back. The show had the sites back.

Then it got weird…

This guy started making parody accounts to fuck with Ellis. Then to fuck with the show, then its fans and finally his family. Riffs, fighting, he-said she-said, who-done-it and every kind of drama created a boiling pot where everyone hated everyone.

That was not Ellis’ fault.

However instead of recognizing the problem of Twitter creating drama, it was always people on Twitter creating drama. i.e. nuclear weapons don’t kill people, crazy dictators kill people. Ellis let Twitter control his life. Then the alcohol and family status perpetuated the situation where you had to walk on egg shells on Twitter. Any sarcasm had to be strictly labeled as SARCASM, any joke had to end with “lol”, any insult had to be cross referenced with the amount of followers to make sure it wasn’t another imposter.

A game of cat and mouse kept going on and on. Instead of Ellis letting the mouse get away, he kept after it.

The terrorists won.

He started blocking people and unfollowing them. He noticed every hate Tweet or criticism and took it to heart. In the beginning when he had just a few thousand followers, it was easy to give suggestions or critiques on the show. But now Ellis saw every suggestion as an insult to him and his show.

[In my mind]
“I can tell him I disapprove of this bit because I am a loyal fan of 4 years who works diligently to help his fans.”

[In Ellis’ mind]
“I am blocking anybody who says anything negative about the show, that way only positive vibes enter my mind in my time of distress.”

The reality is if Twitter was getting to him that bad, maybe he should have stopped using it. But it is addictive. And in his situation he needs a portal to his fans.

So I told him how I felt about the fart jokes. I thought they were stupid. And I still do. Many people agree, many people don’t. it’s an opinion, a right which we all have. And he has the right to call me an idiot for thinking its stupid.

But here is where it hurt. My track record of supporting this show, listening for 4 years everyday, recapping almost every show for 1.5 years and doing countless interviews, promos and coverage, in my mind, allowed me the ability to say how I felt on something so minor that he would have given me the courtesy of RESPECTING my opinion… not blasting me 3 times in 24 hours and calling me a “fucking idiot”. On top of that, comparing me to Steve Blatter, the COO of SiriusXM added insult to injury. Does Steve Blatter listen to every show? Does he even know what Red Dragons means/is?

Steve Blatter doesn’t pay Ellis’ salary; the fans pay Ellis’ salary… and Blatter’s salary as well. Subscription, not terrestrial.

So, like Chris, I broke up with the show. I love my site, I love my visitors, I love my podcast and I love TJES. And call me gay, but I love Ellis, Tully, Rawdog and Shoebox. But I can’t walk on eggshells when I think something isn’t meshing with the show. Farts are what made Stern famous… I mean he dropped in on the VMA’s and farted in a mic naked. I feel, NOT being Stern is what made Ellis famous.

Funny thing is, Ellis even said it himself recently. “I can’t be friends with the fans anymore.” That after discussing a one sided story about how Erika and Emily “may or may not” have said things about his Ex-Wife. After all the things those two have done for you, your show and your events, you are going to rely on some hear-say rumors without even asking their side? Ahhhh, but you “don’t care to hear their side”. So you don’t care about giving 2 of your biggest fans the benefit of the doubt. Understood… but simple math means if you don’t give a shit about what your hardcore fans think, what makes you give a shit about what ANY fan thinks?

I don’t know if I will come back. I miss the show, but the drama on Twitter is insane. I feel Ellis has forgot what brought him to the dance. He was accessible, unhinged and one of us. Now it is a pony show of celebrities to rehashing old radio bits.

I want Ellis to come back to the fans. Will it happen? Probably not. But he has surprised me before.

As an armistice, I think a show of true devotion for the fans would be to make 8 out of 10 fights at EM8 have only fans. NOT the other way around. Remember Ellismania, “Where any fan can have their 15 minutes of fame”?